The four of us hit the road for the long holiday weekend: we headed an hour south to Santa Cruz to frolick in the sand and swim (though not in the ocean – too cold). More pictures soon; for now, here was the scene on the Rio Del Mar State Beach yesterday morning.

-M

Because of our cancelled December trip (and my pregnancy before that), we haven’t traveled to Madison with Zoe for a year and a half (!). We’re heading there next week, and Zoe informed me yesterday morning that she hasn’t forgotten what it was like there. “I remember what it looks like,” she said of Grandma and Grandpa’s house. “There was ice.” And later, when we talked about what we were going to do on our trip, she asked, “Can we build a snowman?” (It makes sense she would ask that, given how cold it was during her last trip, so I had to explain it was a different time of year. She’s a San Francisco kid – she doesn’t really get the concept of seasons!)

We also talked about seeing Cousin Tanner and had the following exchange:

Z: “Can I show him my baby?” (meaning Avery)
M: “Yes! And he has a baby brother, too. His name is Brock.”
Z: “I have a baby sister, and her name is Avery. We can tell each other our babies’ names!”

Sounds like a plan, Zoe!

I rarely work out these days (I don’t see how kids with small kids do it!), but I found the time to pop in an ab-exercise video the other morning. Before I knew it, Zoe was joining in and Avery was crawling all over me – which meant I didn’t get much exercise, but I did have a lot of fun. And so did Zoe, who pointed to the DVD the next morning and asked, “Can we play that game again?”

-M

With Avery rapidly approaching one, I thought it would be a good time to share my thoughts on life with two – and life without a newborn.

As recently as a few months ago, I found myself struggling with how fast Avery was growing. Given the fact that Avery is (likely) our last child, it was hard not to look at everything from the “last of” perspective (as in, “that’s the last time we’ll see a first crawl” and “that’s the last time we’ll be dressing a baby in that cute outfit”), and I was consistently weepy about the changes I saw in her. I was excited about each phase, of course, but it’s almost as if I went through a bit of mourning as she morphed from “newborn” to “infant.” (And if that sounds a little dramatic, I blame the hormones!)

At the same time, there were the (normal) struggles of adjusting to life with two small children. I was often tired (and grumpy). The girls were often sick. There were tons of good moments – far more than bad ones, really – but when things were bad, they felt really, really bad. I often – especially in the early months – felt overwhelmed, and I even asked myself in the beginning, “Did we make a mistake? Did we have a second child too soon?”

But then things slowly shifted. As discussed here before, after a few months caring for two small children started to feel normal and even (at times) easy. Sure, I was still tired (and often grumpy) – and the girls still sometimes got sick – but I felt better equipped to handle what was thrown our way. There were fewer frantic calls to Q (“Come home and help, please!”) and fewer maybe-we-made-a-mistake thoughts.

It also occurred to me recently that I’ve gotten fewer lumps in my throat when marking down another milestone or packing away Avery’s clothes. I’m still sentimental over the past, and I can’t deny that newborns are terribly special, but what helps is the fact that this stage is pretty great (and some would argue better), too. With each passing day, Avery becomes more interesting and engaging and fun to be around – and easier to take care of. When she gives me that goofy, toothy grin or says my name or huffs and puff in excitement when it’s time to drink milk – all things she couldn’t do when we first brought her home from the hospital – I find myself feeling anything but mournful. (And don’t even get me started on Zoe, who makes me laugh every day with her funny and sweet comments/stories/songs.)

I may never experience certain baby “firsts” again, but I know I’m extremely lucky for what I’ve got. And I know someday, when the girls are 10 or 8, or 18 and 16, I’ll laugh at myself for thinking 11 months was old! I also have a feeling that if she could, Older-Michelle would give Now-Michelle some important advice: “Just enjoy it all.” Which is what I’m trying to do.

-M

If not playing together or going after the same toy, Zoe and Avery can often be found hugging, laughing and/or telling secrets to one another. Here are some recent pics.

-M

High-heels were on Zoe’s mind again yesterday morning. The following exchange occurred as we were walking down the stairs, and it made me realize two things: we haven’t heard the last of this topic, and Zoe’s going to be really tough to argue with when she’s older!

Z, eyeing my shoes: “Can I get high heels, Mommy?”
M: “They’re just for grown-ups, honey. I don’t even think they make high heels for kids.” (Note: they do.)
Z: “But I can get small heels.”
M: “No – those are still for when you’re bigger. You need to be tall and strong in order to support yourself in heels.”
Z: “What does ‘support’ mean?”
M: “Oh, it just means that you’re able to carry yourself. Er, anyway (trying a different argument), you can’t really run in heels, and you need to be able to run fast on the playground.”
Z: “Well, I’ll just run really slow.”

Our last Avery update was only five days ago, but she’s already doing new things. On Sat. morning, she took three steps – walking from Q to me – on her own. And later that day, she clapped for the first time in response to me, Q and Zoe clapping. (We were clapping about something Zoe did – not trying to teach Avery – so when Avery joined in, the three of us all looked at each other in excitement.)

And something else kind of neat… Unlike in past months, I didn’t look at Zoe’s 11-month update when I wrote Avery’s – but I was shocked afterwards to see how similar the two updates were. (“I actually can’t think of another four-week period in which we’ve seen such development,” I wrote about Zoe; “Out of all the monthly updates I’ve written, I feel like Avery has changed the most between this and the last one,” I said of Avery. Another example: “..If you don’t feed her fast enough, watch out,” I wrote in Zoe’s update. “She’ll grunt and groan and scold you – and then pull the spoon towards her.” And this time around I wrote: “Avery also likes to grunt a lot: she has taken to grunting when she wants more food…”)

I know they say every baby is different, but I guess Avery is more similar to her sister than I thought!

We went to a birthday party in (sunny) Golden Gate Park today, and when I wasn’t looking, Zoe grabbed my sunglasses. They’re a little big – but it’s not a bad look for her!

-M

When I look at pictures from when Avery was first born, I find it hard to believe how small Zoe was, too. There is just such a huge difference between 2.5 and 3.5 years – and we’ve even seen a big difference between now and our last update.

Zoe is a lot more independent and mature (if you can use that word for a preschooler) than she was even just a few months ago. She can entertain and play by herself for long stretches of times (we can leave her alone without fear that she’s going to hurt herself or tear the house apart), and she can do many things – clean her room, help set and clear the table, get undressed and dressed, etc. – on her own. In just the past few weeks, she has insisted on getting her clothes on and off independently, and she is always really proud of herself when she does. (“Daddy, I put my pajamas on by myself last night!” she told him the other morning.) I’ve also noticed that she’s more willing to help than ever before – the other day, when she heard me say that I had forgotten to get Avery’s towel for her bath, for example, Zoe cried out, “I can get it!” and ran to Avery’s room to retrieve it.

Much of Zoe’s time is spent at school, which she still really likes. Her teacher commented a few weeks ago that Zoe has really “blossomed” over the past few months, and for the past few weeks Zoe has been hesitant to come home with me when I pick her up. (She’s having too much fun!) She likes telling us about her friends there, and she always gives me the good gossip – who didn’t listen to the teacher that day, who graduated from pull-ups to diapers, etc. – on our drive home. She still loves playing school at home: she’ll organize Avery’s room into different sections (the art studio, the dress-up area, etc.) like at school, and she often pretends she’s the teacher and reads to me, Q or some of her imaginary classmates. (And then she’ll scold us when one of us talks.)

Other favorite things to do include drawing (her pictures have recently morphed from scribbles to shapes, straight lines and identifiable objects), reading, playing pretend, taking “swimming baths” (where she practices what she’s been learning in swim classes, which she began in Jan.) and making up stories, plays and songs. Her teacher recently told me that she likes to sing a lot at school, too; a few weeks ago, she made up a song about a princess who eats people. She likes to watch the occasional TV show, and her new favorite is Team Umizoomi, which teaches her about math.

She enjoys playing with her sister, though she occasionally has minor toy-related conflicts with Avery. She’s still very caring with her: As mentioned here before, she’ll tell us when Avery’s crying (if she thinks we can’t hear her) and often keeps Avery company if we’re not nearby. And when Avery’s sick, she’s always very concerned and wants to know when she can touch and play with her again.

Zoe’s vocabulary is growing, and she mimics what she hears me and Q say (she floored me the other day by saying she wasn’t sure what I was “referring to”), but she still says a few things in a baby way. She calls feet “feets,” and still pronounces yellow like “lellow,” hospital like “hostel-bull,” Muni like “mooney” and beautiful like “booty-full.”

She still takes an afternoon nap and typically sleeps from 8 PM-6:30 AM (though Avery has been known to wake her up earlier). There was a rough patch with bedtime for a few weeks several months ago, but things have been better lately. (I hope I’m not jinxing us by saying that!) Her bedtime ritual is a bit different now: it usually involves a book, story and song – but also a play, something that her dad introduced within the last month or so.

The other night, when Q and I were putting her to bed, I told her I was leaving so she could go to bed. “No! I want everyone to do everything I want!” she cried out. I had to laugh at that comment – spoken like a true three-year-old – but the truth is, though she can be demanding (wanting us to do what she wants to do) and does have the occasional outburst, she is way more mellow than before. She has also become more rational, so it’s easier to reason with her when she’s upset (and it’s made traveling with her easier, too). We’re moving further and further away from the tantrum days, I think!

A few other random things: She is quite curious and is known to say “Why did you say that?” if she doesn’t recognize the word or phrase we just said. She has a really good memory – she surprised me recently by remembering the name of one of Avery’s friends (Natalia), whom I had only referenced once, and she is able to read back stories to us after only hearing them once or twice. She talks about being a big girl and “growing stronger” a lot, and the other night, she said out of the blue that she wanted to be a doctor when she grows up. (“A baby doctor. Or a princess or a prince.”) She occasionally brings up baby brothers and wanting one. (She also talks about having a baby herself someday – though “it will hurt.”) When she thinks people aren’t listening to her, she’ll say “You’re not listening to my words,” and she calls herself “my own self.” She calls things “silly” a lot, and it’s common for something unexpected to tickle her funny bone. The other night, she asked me for a Band-aid, and I misheard. “You want a pancake?” I asked her, and she wound up laughing for a good five minutes. I can’t think of a sound I like more than her laugh!

-M

We have a winner! Congrats to….PopPop, who was our 40,000th visitor! You’ll be receiving your prize in the mail. Send us a picture when you get it and we’ll post it for all to see.

We’ll have another winner at 50K so keep visiting…

Jon Q

What has Avery been up to lately? Aside from spending time at Elena’s, she’s been bouncing around with her sister (in the jumpy house we set up – temporarily – in our living room), going on walks (including ones in the double stroller she last sat in when she was first born), and picnicking with her friend Greta. Busy girl!

-M

Out of all the monthly updates I’ve written, I feel like Avery has changed the most between this and the last one. She may not be walking yet, and she doesn’t say many (real) words – but she has nonetheless emerged as a very tall, vocal presence in our home. Her personality is really emerging!

Avery isn’t a difficult child, but she knows what she wants – and she’s more determined and stubborn than I remember Zoe being. If she wants something, she’ll keep going after it – even after we tell her “no.” (In fact, she has taken to smile or giggle when we say “no,” and she recently started mimicking me by wagging her finger.) She loves knocking over the chairs in her room, as example; I tell her not to do this and move her away from the chairs at least five times a day, but she continues to make her way over to them.

She loves keeping up with her sister, which includes often trying to take things away from her, and it’s common for her to grunt/cry in frustration if she can’t get her hands on Zoe’s things. The girls have had a few small tug-of-wars in recent weeks, and more and more of my time with them is spent “refereeing” or making sure Avery doesn’t grab or ruin Zoe’s things (especially her drawings).

Aside from chasing after her sister, Avery still likes playing with rings, stacking dishes, and blocks. Her new favorite book is Peek-A-Who – every time I start reading it, she breaks into a big, toothy grin. (And the best part of the book: it’s so simple that Zoe can read it to her.)

Avery is super vocal: Every morning, around 6:10, Q and I awake to a series of squeals, babbles (“mamamama,” “dadadada”) and words that sound like “eye-ya.” She doesn’t say tons of real words on her own yet, but she is very big on mimicking. If she hears a word (hat, ball, etc.) she’ll usually say it right after – and Q’s new game is to sing “la la la” to her and listen as she repeats it. Avery also likes to grunt a lot: she has taken to grunting when she wants more food and when someone walks in the room – her way of saying “hi,” I guess.

Speaking of walking in a room, Avery is also known to cry when someone walks out and leaves her alone – even for a few seconds. She likes to be paid attention to or held most of the time, which, as I’ve mentioned before, can make getting things done a bit tricky. But I do appreciate that she likes being around people!

A few other random things: she’s up to four teeth, she has a lot more hair than even a few months ago, and she weighs just over 22 pounds. She still primarily crawls, though she has stood on her own a few times, and Q reports that she took a step on her own last night. She doesn’t wave, but she loves giving high-fives – something she started to do around the time of our last update. And her sleeping schedule slightly changed since I last wrote: she finally gave up that pesky 5 AM feeding!

-M

I was looking at old photos recently when I came across this one of a 16-month-old Zoe. The picture makes me smile: sure, she’s a lot smaller, but I can see a glimpse of big-girl Zoe in her. (And Zoe, who hasn’t given up her thumb yet, still makes this face sometimes.) It was also an appropriate time to stumble across the photo, because Avery wound up wearing the same pair of pants for the first time this weekend!

-M

Sunday mornings are often lazy ones for the family – and yesterday was no exception. Below is a familiar scene: Avery relaxing in a bath, and Zoe relaxing and enjoying a book. A good way to start an otherwise busy day!

-M

When Mommy wasn’t feeling well yesterday, Zoe took it upon herself to make sure her little sister was fed. Check out mama’s little helper…

Jon Q